Nonetheless, are you okay with your spouse having a Facebook page (friend or not)?

A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of divorce attorneys have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years. More than 66 percent of those attorneys said the No. 1 site most often used as evidence is Facebook with its 400 million registered users.

Another recent survey by Divorce-Online.com of more than 5,000 attorneys says Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases.

In fact, spouses cheating on Facebook is so common that Ken Savage of Lowell, Massachusetts, created FacebookCheating.com in 2009. This website was created after finding out that his wife had an affair that was initiated on Facebook.  According to website it is a way “to help others cope with someone cheating on them as well as shine light upon someone who is using Facebook to cheat.”

I’m not implying that all spouses on Facebook cheat. In fact, I’m willing to bet that there are more spouses on Facebook that faithful than those who are not. But I can’t help but wonder, What is about social networking sites that make cheating so easy and enticing?

Thoughts?

As grown ups, we now know where these little bundles of joy come from (I hope) but here are some of the colorful places we thought babies came from as children:

• God puts a baby in your stomach when you get married
• Babies fell from the sky in baskets
• Babies are dropped off by a pelican
• Babies are picked up from the local pharmacy
• Babies popped out of a girl’s bellybutton.
• Gypsies left babies on adults door steps
• Kissing led to pregnancy

Where did you think babies came from?

You know the signs:

Harnessing your mind requires practice and a willingness to reach for happiness, even in the midst of your misery. Too often people wrap the victim label around themselves like a protective garment, reluctant to remove it. But if you can get in touch with the healthiest part inside of you, the one that knows you need to keep building a life for yourself, then you can boost your recovery from heartbreak.

No doubt, time is the best healer, but while we’re waiting, here are some tricks you can use to make it through the days:

Sweep, Sweep, Sweep.

Imagine that your mind is a small, wooden-floored room that keeps getting all dusty and dirty with your negative thoughts. Now visualize a tiny, inch-high cleaning lady snoozing in the corner of the room, an old-fashioned twig broom leaning against her chair. When your thinking drifts into dangerous territory, wake her up and urge her to “sweep, sweep, sweep” away those pesky thoughts! Imagine her working away furiously, tidying up the floor, sweeping all that unwanted muck out the door and making the place spic ‘n span.

Barking Dog.

This simple but effective trick helps you separate yourself from intrusive thoughts. Imagine that you’re walking down the street and you see a dog chained up to a fence next to the sidewalk, barking wildly at you. Continue on your way down the street knowing that the racket he’s making, which represents the cacophony of thoughts in your head, can’t hurt you. It’s just noise. Hold your head up and keep on walking.

Shake it Off.

While we’re on the topic of canines, here’s another very simple option for breaking out of a bad mind-set. You know how a wet dog shakes from head to tail in that goofy way to dry himself off? Well, when you need to lift yourself out of a funk, stand up and literally shake it off. “Shake, shake, shake” from head to toe, good and hard. Waggle your arms, bobble your head, jiggle your derrière (but remember to remove your glasses first!) It’s guaranteed to break the spell at least a little bit. Try it now!

Paint the Wall.

This technique enables you to manage those rotten bad feelings you walk around with. Picture yourself vigorously painting all those angry, hurt, pent-up feelings in strong colors on a great big wall. Use your whole body, jabbing and stroking until the wall is violent with color. Stand back and take a good look at the turmoil exteriorized. Then imagine grabbing a roller, dipping it in a tray of thick white paint and rolling it criss-cross and up and down until the wall is covered all over with a field of pure white. Stand back again and let yourself exhale. Then inhale and breathe in the clean paint smell!

Recovering relatively unscarred from the unwanted end of a relationship requires that you use all your positive energy to fight off those doom and gloom thoughts that hold you back. Happiness is a choice that we have to keep making for ourselves at every twist and turn in our lives — the choice to roll up our sleeves and do whatever it takes to keep moving forward — even shaking like a dog!

About the Author: For more than 25 years, psychotherapist and family counselor Vikki Stark has helped people grow through hard times, solve problems and restore hope for the future.  She is the author of Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife’s Guide to Recovery and Renewal, which grew out of a study of over 400 women who were left out-of-the-blue from what they believed to be happy marriages. Learn more at www.runawayhusbands.com.

Road & Travel Magazine have outlined the Basic Rules for Cellphone Etiquette in public.

Restaurants:

• Ask if there are special restrictions on phone use.
• Initiate only essential calls.
• Keep conversations brief to terse. Use an at-table call primarily to make an appointment for a more appropriate time for a call-back.
• If you simply must be available you can put your phone on “vibrate” – say for your anticipated dinner companion to tell you that he is caught in traffic like a grape in aspic so have another drink. (If your phone does not have a vibrate capability maybe it’s time for a new one.)
• Practice speaking in a quiet conversational tone.  If no one looks your way I think you’ve got it.

Theaters, concerts, meetings etc:

• Check at the entrance to be sure your phone is “off.” If you’re compulsive, check for voice mail at breaks. (Remember, you used to have to go home to check your messages.)
• If the only time you could get tickets to take the kids to “The Lion King” coincides with the only time a major mucky-muck is available for a conference call, put your phone on “vibrate” close to your heart and dash for the exit at the first tremor.
• If you forget both “off” and “vibrate” and your phone rings, turn it off instantly. (And as unobtrusively as possible so nobody will suspect you are the jerk responsible). No matter what: DO NOT ANSWER IT!

Museums and art galleries:

• Consider the reasons you are in such a place and be there totally. Turn off the phone, or better yet check it with your coat or tote bags.

Someone else’s house or office:

• Turn off your phone. If you are expecting a call of extreme importance, ask if it is acceptable that you receive an inaudible signal so you can leave the room to take the call.

Places of Worship:

• Leave the cellphone at home, in the car or at least turn it off before you enter. God may call you but it’s unlikely He will use Verizon.

Airline Travel:

• Follow airline personnel instructions. Usually cellphones must be off as soon as the aircraft doors are closed until the doors open again on arrival. (Unless otherwise informed on long apron delays etc.)
• Be particularly diligent if you have a cellphone with you but haven’t used it lately. It could be on; there is adequate evidence the electronics within can interfere with those that guide the plane.

Face-to-face with someone:

• Do not talk on the phone while someone is trying to take your order in a restaurant, locate an upgrade for you on an airplane or return the shoes you had half-soled. Attend to the face-to-face business totally even if you have to ask the one on the line to hold. Continuing to use the phone while nodding and signaling to the person in front of you is belittling and so extremely rude I’ve only seen the obnoxiously self-important do it.

• Because the law is retroactive, eligible claimants now may be paid for weeks of unemployment after the previous law expired on June 5.
• Claims will be processed immediately for those who continued to file EUC bi-weekly claim for weeks after June 5, and those claimants should receive payment within two weeks.
• Eligible individuals who did not file EUC claims after June 5 are encouraged to do so immediately online at www.uc.pa.gov.
• Claims also may be filed through the PA Teleclaims, or PAT, system at 1-888-255-4728. All eligible claims will be processed and paid as quickly as possible.
• Individuals who have exhausted their initial 26 weeks of UC benefits and have not yet established an EUC claim may experience some additional delays in receiving payment.
• Those who stopped filing paper claims for state extended benefits, or EB, after June 5 should call the UC service center for instructions on how to resume filing.
• The $25 weekly Federal Additional Compensation, or FAC, payment has not been reauthorized and will not be available to individuals who established a claim after June 5.  Individuals who established claims before June 5 will continue to receive the FAC payment on their current benefits program — UC, EUC or EB — until Dec. 11, 2010.
• Under the current legislation, the last payable week of EUC is the week ending April 30, 2011.

More information about unemployment compensation programs is online at www.uc.pa.gov

But a few hours in a plane can have a devastating effect, particularly on complexion and hair, so let’s take a look at a few things you can do so you step off the plane all ready to wow the locals.

• Use a water-rich moisturizer before you travel to keep your skin fresh, to stop losing moisture.
• Choose water, energy drinks and juices to combat humidity and keep you hydrated.
• Wait until the end of the journey to put on your face.  Keep things simple and limit yourself to a tinted moisturizer, a touch of blush, clear mascara and lip gloss.
• Wear loose clothes that don’t wrinkle. Carry a spare top in your hand luggage. in case of an emergency.  And don’t forget to keep a wrap handy in case the air-conditioning gets too much.
• A sleep mask can be useful if you hope to do more than just doze on the journey, as sleep quality is better when light is cut out.
• Support hosiery is a great way to avoid circulation problems. As well as tights (which help combat swelling in legs), you can also get support socks, so the guys can benefit, too.
• To keep the circulation going in feet and legs while sitting, flex your ankles in an up-and-down motion, as if you were using an old-fashioned treadle sewing machine.
• Moisturising tissues and baby-wipes can be a godsend for cleansing, refreshing, cooling…

I enjoy being in my workspace, and I can work productively for many hours without feeling like I’ve lost my humanity.

When considering changes to your workspace, here’s rule #1:  If it feels right to you, it is right. That rule is primary; my specific suggestions are secondary.

With that in mind, here are 5 suggestions for creating a more relaxing workspace:

Make your workspace look attractive to you.

Must a professional workspace be a sterile sea of beige and gray?  Remember that where you work, you also live.  Given the amount of time you’ll be living in your workspace over the course of your lifetime, it makes sense to add some visual appeal.

Choose the emotion you want to feel, and experiment with different visual elements to see how they alter your feelings.  Try new furniture, photos, posters, mirrors, flowers, knick knacks, toys, statues, rugs, artwork, crystals, etc.  If you have the necessary control, you can also tweak the lighting in your workspace to create the right type of mood.  I know a programmer who works in a completely dark room with no windows, he loves it.

Clear out the clutter.

It’s difficult to feel centered when you’re surrounded by unfinished tasks that constantly remind you of what you haven’t done yet.  Ideally the only paper items on your desk should be directly related to the current task at hand.  Store everything else in drawers, shelves, or cabinets.  Many people notice a dramatic improvement to their productivity when they try this.

Add plants.

Plants are a wonderful way to add life to a lifeless workspace.  Use only living, oxygen-generating plants, not lifeless fake ones.  Water them as needed to keep them healthy.  Over time you’ll find that your plants begin to resonate with you and become a reflection of you.  Dying plants = dead career.  Fake plants = appears successful but empty on the inside.  Healthy plants = healthy career.  Lots of plants = abundance.  Bring yourself back to nature by adding some plants to your workspace, and you’ll find yourself enjoying the environment much more.

Make it smell good.

If you don’t like candles, there are other options for improving the smell of your office.  You can get a diffuser and fill it with essential oil, add some potpourri, or even try sliced lemons.  Be careful when considering chemical air fresheners though, as there are reports they can pose health risks.

Play relaxing music.

Experiment with different types of music to see what effect they have on your stress level and productivity.  Use headphones if you need to keep from disturbing others.

How do you relaxify your workplace?

To sum up the progression of your relationship with your step children, you will start a little bit as a baby sitter, later will be perceived in some manner like an uncle or aunt and in the long run as a real relative, a very close member of the family.

Parenting step children requires 7 steps:

1- Be straightforward in introducing who you are and what you want to become for them. Make sure that they are aware you do not want to steal the role of their mum or father. You must stay out of the discipline issue from the beginning. Tell them you will not give punishments but will simply apply what has been set with their mother and father by reporting wrong behaviors to them considering that they decide of the consequences. It is an agreement you have. You just want to know your step children more and to be friends if it seems ok for them. Discuss openly to help them talk about what they are thinking. You are an “intruder” for them, it’s completely natural.

2- Express some interest in your step children’s lives. They probably will find this odd and might not participate a lot but keep being interested in what they do, it will eventually be worth it. Always try to know what is going on in their lives, try to remember what they talk about, the name of their friends, important dates… It will eventually surprise them. Parenting step children is really about being there.

3- Be a team with your loved one. Speak with one voice or the step children may try to turn one against the other and benefit from your disagreements. If your partner legitimates your role in the family, it will be easier for you.

4- Be consistent in your effort to create a good relationship with your step children. It takes persistence of course but don’t lose hope. If you are consistent in your behavior, your step children will more likely know they can rely on you. Just be there for them and respect the time they might need to get closer to you.

5- Spend time alone with them, do things they like. On your way back home, stop by a coffee shop to drink or eat something and talk a little. It will eventually help them to see another part of you and they will remember what you shared and how amusing and nice it was. Doing one-on-one activities can make parenting step children less difficult and will develop the relationship more quickly.

6- Be truthful with what you think. Tell them it is hard for you but that you truly love and care for them. Ask them what they feel. By communicating freely, they will be far more willing to reveal their feelings toward you. Naturally it might hurt a little bit, but since they’ll be surprised you aren’t their enemy and understand them, they will feel compassion for you too!

7- Be funny! It’ll help the family look at things in perspective and will relieve some tensions. Humor will surely help you get closer to your step children.

It would be wrong to claim that parenting step children is extremely easy but with these 7 steps, I am confident you can create your own place in their hearts and become a full member of their family. You are going to be respected and loved. Be there for them, be consistent, entertaining and compassionate.

What To Do When Your Child Is Nothing Like You?

She’s a wallflower; you’re the life of the party. Couch potato; soccer star. Stylesetter; slob. When raising an opposite, focus on understanding your child rather than on your differences.

Raising a child who’s nothing like you can feel like a voyage to an alternate universe. But it’s also an opportunity to nurture a unique personality rather than experience a mini-me. “Every child is born with a particular temperament, which doesn’t change, only evolves,” explains child development specialist Betsy Brown Braun, author of You’re Not the Boss of Me. “From day one, it’s your job to get to know your children; it’s not their job to get to know you.” Still, knowing them can be tricky if you don’t “get them.” Meet six “dynamic duos,” opposing parent-child personalities that clash more than mesh. Our experts sort through their challenges and confusion—so you can discover ways to help your own child thrive.

SpongeBob vs. Zen Master

Your child is high-spirited; You’re laid-back.

What you need to know

This is his innate temperament; he doesn’t bounce around and beg for attention just to bother you.

“Personality is inborn, but how you guide and respond to children can influence their personalities and how well they get along in the world,” says Tanya Altmann, MD, a clinical professor of pediatrics at UCLA and author of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Mommy Calls.

What to do

First, try not to quash your child’s intense feelings, even if they unnerve you. Telling him to “calm down” may make him feel frustrated and rejected. “Instead, say something like ‘I see how upset you are; that situation made you really angry,’” suggests Jenn Berman, PsyD, a Los Angeles–based family therapist and author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids.

Then give him a schedule and set limits. “Parents who are laid-back may not provide enough structure for a child who is more Type A,” says Dr. Berman. “Your child should know the house rules, have an idea of when he’s eating meals and have a regular bedtime routine. Children feel more in control when they know what’s expected and what comes next.”

Even with structure, your child will still be who he is. Your job is to think beyond your own personality to accommodate his, suggests Roni Cohen-Sandler, PhD, author of I’m Not Mad—I Just Hate You! A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict. “Schedule time for him to have active, vigorous and, ideally, outdoor play to blow off steam and energy, and realize you may have to speed up while you’re with him. To take care of yourself, carve out a little downtime every day.” You can also tap into your Zen tendencies to help your child relax and stay in control. Consider mom-kid yoga sessions or deep-breathing exercises to find some calm for both of you.

Step 1. Remember this order of operations: Shirts on the bottom, then dresses, then pants.

Step 2. Stack tops, unfolded, by placing wrinkle-prone tops toward the bottom of a pile and less easily wrinkled ones toward the top.

Step 3. Fold the sleeves in toward the shirts’ torsos.

Step 4. Fold the shirts in half from the bottom. You now have a rectangular bundle of shirts; place it in your suitcase.

Step 5. Drape long dresses in the suitcase so that the ends hang over the sides.

Step 6. Place pants and skirts on a flat surface; fold each in half lengthwise.

Step 7. Stack pants and skirts on top of one another, with easily wrinkled ones on the bottom and sturdier ones, such as jeans, on top. Fold the stack over, so that its length is halved.

Step 8. Place your stack of pants and skirts on top of the dresses, and then fold the ends of the dresses over the pants and skirts.

Packing Accessories:

Step 1. Stuff socks in shoes. Pack underies in mesh laundry bags or side pockets to save space.

Step 2. Arrange each pair of shoes so that the heel of one aligns with the toe of the other.

Step 3. Wrap pairs of shoes in separate plastic bags, and place them along the border of your suitcase.

Step 4. Protect clothes from leaks by placing toiletries in a plastic bag.

Step 5. Pack essential toiletries in a carry-on bag. Include your toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup, medication and other important items.

Remember Ladies, challenge yourselves and pack everything you need in one suitcase…

Give it a try…You can do it!