I knew she was wheelchair bound. I knew she was CEO of a company, Sunshine Project H.E.L.P, that provides help and training to those with spinal cord injuries. Sometimes her organization may help others with getting equipment.  I knew she had a modeling troupe of models who were also wheelchair bound, Sunshine Models on Wheels. I knew they put on shows and did fundraisers. I was even aware that they had participated in  Baltimore Fashion Week last year (a first). What I didn’t know was how she got there.

Recently my client, Sunshine King, sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted it of course but I did what I normally do, go look at the info page. I was shocked when I read that it was her husband who had shot her twice and one of the bullets is what put her in that wheelchair. It made me admire her even more. It made me want to introduce the world to such an incredible woman. When you speak to her, she is just as funny and nice as can be. You don’t hear an ounce of self pity or anger. You hear how much she wants to help others and let those with spinal injuries know that the wheelchair can’t stop you from doing what you want to do – even modeling!

Sunshine (such an appropriate name) is also an actress, dance and model instructor, fashion consultant, makeup artist, choreographer, massage therapist and of course a survivor of domestic violence. She even has a fitness program for those with spinal injuries. She wears more hats than an able bodied person.

This is only a brief glimpse and I plan on doing an actual interview. When you get a chance venture over to her website where you can even donate to such a great cause.

Take a moment to envision where you want to be in life. Where do you want to live? What do you want to look like? How do you want to feel emotionally? What kind of car do you want to drive? How much money do you want to make? What do you want the state of your business to be? What do you want for your family?

Now, think about the thing or things that are holding you back from where we want to be. If we are completely honest with ourselves we will admit that our largest obstacle is often the person that we look at in the mirror every day.

There are several ways that we get in our own way. The most obvious is not believing in our own abilities thus allowing fear, doubt, negative self-talk and procrastination dictate our futures. If we do that, we know it…but I want to call out some of the other hidden and sometimes subconscious things that we do to sabotage ourselves.

1. Burning the Candle at Both Ends and In the Middle!

When you have a vision or a goal that you’ve set for yourself, it’s a natural tendency for those that are driven to want to grind and give it all we’ve got. The problem is that sometimes we go so far as to give it what we don’t have as well.

I remember the first and only time that I ever ran out of gas in my car. I was ripping and running all day, and I actually had the money. I was just so busy pushing my agenda to the limit that I never set aside the few moments that it would take to refuel. So as a result, there I was, in the middle of the freeway, at midnight, out of gas. So now, not only was I held back, I was brought to a screeching halt. I went from doing too much to not being able to do anything at all.

There are two things to keep in mind if this sounds like you. First of all, you won’t be good to anyone or anything if you are burnt out mentally, physically and emotionally. That purpose or calling that has been placed on your life will be placed on hold and you will be placed on a stretcher or a hospital bed. And finally….challenge God and allow him the opportunity to show you all that He can do for you. Trust that He’s right there next to you on the battle field of life. Faith takes work, but even God rested.

2. Spending Time Talking About What You Can’t Do and Doing What You Don’t Want to Do.

I went to see author, ReShonda Tate Billingsley speak the other day, and one of the many things that she said that stood out to me was, “Every minute spent talking about what you can’t do is a minute that could be spent doing it.” This rings so true! We spend SO much time talking about what we can’t do and why we can’t do it. Those minutes, hours, days and weeks could be spent taking action on the plan that is burning inside of us.

On the same note, we often spend just as much time doing things that we know we don’t want to do. Perhaps it’s that job that you hate and you know that deep down in your heart, if you step out on faith and leave it, God will have something even greater waiting for you. Maybe it’s all of those things that you do to help others reach their goals and realize their dreams…which is great…but what about you?

Start thinking of your moments as money in a bank account that will disappear if you don’t spend it or invest it. Think of every hour as one million dollars. You get the same amount each day, Twenty-four million dollars, and how you use it is up to you. Will you use it wisely? Will you waste it? Or will you go too hard with it and fall into burning that candle at both ends and in the middle?

There are several other factors that contribute to you getting in your own way of that future that you want including the company that you keep, your willingness to give, how you manage what you are given and so on. I just wanted to give you the two above to ponder and digest. If they hit home for you take a step or two TODAY to make shift in a different direction. Take a path that is clear of obstacles. Get out of your own way!

Maya Angelou

The 2010 International Fuller Woman Expo takes place at the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel in Detroit, MI on September 18, 2010.

Special Appearances Include:

• Actress, Comedian & Talk show host, Kim Coles
• Executive Producer of Full Figured Fashion Week™, Gwen DeVoe
• Biggest Loser Contestant, Carla Triplett

For vendor opportunities or to attend the 2010 event visit TheFullerWomanExpo.com for additional information.

The 2010 International Fuller Woman Expo takes place at the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel in Detroit, MI on September 18, 2010.

Special Appearances Include:

• Actress, Comedian & Talk show host, Kim Coles
• Executive Producer of Full Figured Fashion Week™, Gwen DeVoe
• Biggest Loser Contestant, Carla Triplett

For vendor opportunities or to attend the 2010 event visit TheFullerWomanExpo.com for additional information.

Over the last few years I’ve noticed the word “real” to describe average or larger-sized women has become commonplace, but if one thinks about it for five seconds, it has to be concluded that if we are calling rounder women ‘real’ that makes her size 4 sister fake. I checked in with my slighter friends on this one, and they admit to feeling pushed out of the conversation about bodies just because they are more svelte and – true to form for most kind-minded women, they feel badly about making a fuss, since body image and labels always seem to launch a firestorm or controversy.

This ‘real woman’ label has been used by those who don’t know much about language or feminism, like the PR team behind Dove Soaps’ much-applauded and much-insulted “Campaign for Real Beauty” which featured women sizes 8-14. A Craigslist call for ‘real women’ in NYC is casting now for what is expected to be a reprise of those ads. The term is also being used by those who should know better, including the lovely, fantastic feminist blogger Shelby Knox who recently wrote on Jezebel “I’d decided that I liked the young women I speak to on campuses seeing a real-looking woman speaking her truth…”

{Read More}

So what’s the verdict.  What word should be used when referring to Plus size women?

This much needed and much appreciated four day weekend kicked off at The Blvd. on Wednesday night with an Opening Reception, which included a fashion show featuring up and coming designers. As an added bonus, I met representatives from TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Sonsi, Just My Size and more. Executive Producer of Full Figured Fashion Week™, Gwen DeVoe was the evening’s hostess and she did a great job keeping the crowd excited the entire night.

Day two of the week resumed at The Blvd. with a Full, Figured & Fabulous™ Runway modeling competition. 10 women from around the country strutted the runway wearing three outfits. During their initial walk, the models wore t-shirts designed by each girl to reflect their individual personality. Hosted by New York reporter Ruschell Boone, the winner won a nice $1000 cash prize.

Day three included a series of panel discussions featuring movers and shakers making major strides in the plus size community. The first panel discussion was the Plus Size of Business hosted by The Voluptuous Woman Inc. Covering everything from self-trademarks to appreciating your customers, this panel was an asset for anyone currently in business or thinking of starting a business.

The next panel was for Aspiring Models and although it was my intention to go to this event, I had business to attend to but my sources informed me that it was a great experience and those present received so much information.

The last panel of the day was The State of The Curvy Community. This all star panel along with moderator Sharon Quinn led a much needed discussion about everything from body image, empowering yourself each other and unifying the Curvy Community.

So far, Full Figured Fashion Week™ has been one life changing event after another. With the Semi-Formal Finale Runway Showcase & Awards Ceremony tonight, I know more ooh’s and ahh’s are to come and I will keep you posted.

Make sure you are following us on twitter so you can

Monday Motivation with Monica Marie Jones

I’m sitting here at the Detroit Metro Airport after having missed my early morning flight to Rochester, New York. In the past I might have cried or been frustrated to the point of making myself physically sick. Now I sit here just as calm and cool as a cat because of something my mother always told me…”Everything happens for a reason.”

I called my Mom to let her know that I’d missed my flight and after about 37 seconds of sympathy she said, “What happened to last week’s Monday Morning Motivation? Why didn’t I get it? Did this new anti-virus software remove it from my computer?” I had to smile. I didn’t do a Monday Morning Motivation last week because of the holiday and it wasn’t looking like I was going to be able to do one today either because of the early travel and business that I need to prepare for. Well wouldn’t you know, I guess God had different plans for me today. Perhaps I missed that flight just so I could get this out to you.

I strongly believe that when something is placed on your heart, you must get it out, because you never know who’s watching and who needs to hear, feel or see your message. Just a few days ago I got a message from a young lady out of the blue. She wanted to let me know that she’d read my first book, “The Ups and Downs of Being Round” and that it inspired her to lose over 100 pounds! I was so excited to be able to touch and in some ways save a person’s life in such a way. It speaks to a motivational message that I wrote in the past based upon a quote by a dear friend. In short, when we don’t operate in our gifts, people could be dying. I know that sounds harsh, but most of us know what we are supposed to be doing, and when we do operate in that purpose, we save lives. (I’ll speak more on this in my next motivational message because I’ve already been inspired with it.)

Sometimes when seemingly bad things happen, we get angry or upset, but we must keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. Whatever has transpired may have saved us from something worse or be preparing us for something greater. I wasn’t supposed to be on that flight this morning. If I was, I’d be on it. I trust that it happened for a very specific reason. So today, if something happens take a deep breath and know that there is a greater purpose behind it.

So as I am sitting here trying to wrap up this message, a man that works here comes up to me and asks me how I like my mini net book computer. I could have had an attitude, especially with the employees of the airline since I missed my flight because the attendant wasn’t at the gate 10 minutes before departure, then the plane pulled off earlier than scheduled. He and I got to talking about what I do and he just gave me a huge valuable chunk of financial wisdom that I’ve been praying about. Its official…today is going to be a great day. No matter what happens, good or bad, know that it is for a reason and a purpose so just smile and keep the faith!

It was time. My glorious crop of spring crocuses, grape hyacinth, daffodils and tulips had finished. Only the memory of their pastel beauty and a tangle of withered blossoms and dead, brown leaves remained.

But before you plant new flowers in a pot, you must first clear out the old. Unless you do this, there will be no room for new growth. Every gardener knows that!

Clearing is hard work.

My bulbs were firmly entrenched. Their roots went deep. Worse, they were tangled with the roots of the palm I plant at the center of every pot. This palm is the heart and soul of each container, and continues for many seasons. I had to fight every rooted bulb to dislodge and remove it, without destroying the palm, though it inevitably suffered damage as I gently separated its roots from those of the tenacious, clinging bulbs.

When all was done, I dug in the hardened dirt to make it soft. I refreshed it with new soil, and mixed it together, rubbing it between my fingertips as though I was blending butter and salt to make pastry. When the soil was light and tender, the pot was ready to receive new planting. The palm looked chastened, and a bit fragile, but I knew it had the strength and stamina to send out new roots, and to regain its vitality. I let the pots rest overnight to absorb the shock of having been cleansed and fertilized.

Next day, I planted summer flowers. White impatiens, red geraniums, yellow marigolds, and blue, trailing lobelia. Soon, the pots were brimming with color and new life again. I swept the terrace, dumped the garbage bags filled with exhausted soil, and stored a few healthy bulbs for Fall’s replanting. A good watering, and my garden was good to go. I was filthy and tired, but deeply happy. Cares seem to melt away when you kneel in your garden!

When I’m gardening, I feel I am doing exactly what I should be doing. After all, God himself planted the first garden. And the very first job he gave to the very first man was to tend that garden and keep it beautiful. Gardening is God’s or the Goddess’s work.

Many have observed that gardening is a metaphor for life. It was one of Shakespeare’s favorite themes. “Our bodies are our gardens…our wills are our gardeners,” he famously said.

But human hearts and souls are gardens too. Every once in a while, we must clean out our inner pot. Get rid of worn-out bulbs and dead plants ~ old habits, griefs, attachments, disappointments, betrayals, outgrown dreams and obsessions ~ that no longer make life beautiful or give us joy.

It is desperately hard work. The old will not yield to the new without a struggle. There will be tearing and wrenching as you dig out and discard ideas and thoughts that have outlived their time. There may be a period of seeming barrenness, when life seems fragile, and stripped of the growth that once filled it. This is an illusion. A temporary condition. The old served no purpose since it was dead.

New growth and beauty will emerge when we make room for it! Try it, and watch your garden grow.