The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dynamic is rather unique and can often be confusing and a bit hazy. Today I saw Jumping The Broom starring Loretta Devine (Waiting To Exhale) and Paula Patton (Precious). Both women were forced to share their one and true love Laz Alonso (This Christmas) with the other as Devine played Mrs. Taylor, Alonso’s over protective mother and Patton played Sabrina Watson, his bubbly yet privileged fiance’. In the film Laz Alonso was Jason Taylor and found himself in a love triangle as he dealt with the pressures associated with trying to please both women who play an important part in his life.
As a daughter-in-law and sister-in-law, the situations these characters dealt with seemed very familiar to me. I’ve witnessed this type of friction first hand, but who should we blame?
Anne Killinger, author of A Son is a Son Till He Gets a Wife: How Toxic Daughters-in-Law Destroy Families takes a different approach to examining the belief that mother-in-laws are solely responsible for the friction between them and their new daughters.
“In a world where mothers-in-law are frequently made the butt of bad jokes, many people assume that they are the ones that make life unbearable for their daughters-in-law,” Killinger said. “I contend that it is often the other way around, that many daughters-in-law today are selfish, possessive, and narcissistic, and will not rest until they have divorced their husbands from the parents who raised them. It’s a deceptively gradual process, and half the time, you don’t even realize it has happened until it’s too late. It starts with her taking phone calls for the family, or the canceling of trips to visit family. Soon, phone calls go unreturned, and finally you realize that your son is no longer your son. He’s just some other woman’s husband.”
How is your relationship with your In-Laws?