We push others down, hoping it raises us up.
It comes to us when it appears there is an inequality that provokes our jealousy: the person who seemingly has the fame, the power, the money, the happy family or the good looks receives the most criticism. Ironically we secretly want something they have, but instead of using their success as our inspiration, we attack them with our insecurities disguised as complaints. As though it’s their problem for having what we want? And therein lies the toxicity of devaluing: it says more about us than it does about them.
If someone gave me a magic wand to make one wish come true, it would be to give us all the ability to see our own worth so clearly that we never had to treat people from our own fears and insecurities.
Below are 7 tips to remind ourselves to find value in ourselves, and celebrate the successes of others.
1. Engage in conversation that ensure that others leave feeling better about who they are.
2. Own your insecurities. When you see someone who has what you secretly want choose to be inspired by it rather than threatened by it.
3. Refuse to engage in any conversation that puts others down. Whether those others are people you know (i.e. your ex’s, your family, your work colleagues) or people you may never meet (i.e. Charlie Sheen & the Kardashian sisters).
4. Do the work of holding firm to the belief that you are fabulous, talented and perfectly prepared to do your life calling. You are enough.
5. Do not see life as a see-saw, where someone else has to fall before you can rise. There is room enough for all of us to be our best.
6. Give the freedom to others, including Oprah to do life her very best way even if you would do it differently.
7. Realize that if you want to bring change to this world, more people are transformed by affirmation and grace than by criticism and shame.
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Shasta’s weekly blog, discusses this topic in an expanded article posted on her website. Read “The Oprah-Haters and Other Women Who Devalue” at: //www.girlfriendcircles.com/blog/
Daily Venus Diva -- Daily Venus Diva.
I LOVE THIS!
Just the other day I gave someone a compliment about something and she indrectly said something that to someone else around us that she knew would hurt my feelings. I immediately picked up on it and walked away. I am too grown for that and because she was indirect with it I let it be her problem and showed her that her insecure ways was not going to have control over how I react. My choice was to just let it be. Of course this is not to say that being mistreated is behavior that should be accepted, instead for me it was just a test in my character. Was I going to lower myself to what she had said by saying something “indirectly” to equally hurt her back if not more? Naw, I am trying to better myself mind body and soul and have no time for people that aim to make themselves feel better by trying to put others down. The truth was what she said did sting but the fact is that it took a very unhappy person to say it. I love this article because it reminds us all to really “own” what we have going on for us and to recognize that we are special and unique so there really is no need for jealousy. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” and so are you! Great article!