Women are busier than ever, and even if you love juggling a million things at once, the inevitable stress it creates still takes it toll. The human body was not created to run at full-speed all day. In order to deal with stress, your body revs up some systems and turns down others. The systems you are inhibiting can seriously affect your digestion (including fat processing), immunity, sex drive, memory, blood pressure, and overall mood. You aren’t happy if you are a stress-producing machine.
The good news is that if you listen to your self-talk, you can hear the assumptions that trigger the unique stressful reactions of being a busy women with a hectic life.
ASSUMPTION #1: There is a right answer and it is mine
If you are the best and the one who knows, then you have an answer for every question about things that are important to you. Always being right not only hurts your relationships, your body triggers a ‘fight-response’ when your brain senses disagreement. Even if you have learned to manage your mouth, your belief will still trigger your stress. Can you let some other people be right sometimes too?
ASSUMPTION #2: No one can do the work as well as I do
Things will spin out of control or fail if they aren’t done by you. As a result, you will overwork, take on too many projects, and resist sharing your work with anyone else. This not only produces stress, you are often resentful and exhausted. Look for the times you can develop someone else by training and delegating, and allow others to learn from their mistakes as you have also done.
ASSUMPTION #3: I am disappointed, again
Whether it’s a job or a relationship, you start out excited about the possibilities, then you feel let down. This is due to the unreasonable standards you set up which no job or person can meet in the long run. If you don’t tone down these expectations, you will always focus on what is wrong. Try focusing instead on what is right and what is possible.
ASSUMPTION #4: I don’t need help
You are a strong, smart woman so you don’t need anyone to help you succeed. You can figure it out on your own. Unfortunately, this assumption is a horrible waste of your precious time. Letting other people help you is more efficient, it builds relationships, and you look stronger in the long run.
ASSUMPTION #5: I have to be great at everything I do
For the first time in history, girls are brought up to believe we can do anything. To make up for lost time, this message is being delivered with a vengeance. As a result, girls interpret the words to mean, “I must be great at anything I choose.” Then as a woman, the more knowledge and experience you gain, the heavier is this “burden of greatness.” When one accomplishment is complete, you quickly search for the next great thing to conquer. As a result, you may not enjoy your achievements as you busily, and stressfully, move on to accomplish something more.
About The Author: Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D., master coach and author of the groundbreaking new book, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, June 2010), identifies the 5 stress-inducing assumptions that many women tend to make.
Daily Venus Diva -- Daily Venus Diva.
#DivaChat