Negotiating A Divorce Settlement Like Elin Nordegren

Model turned Tiger Woods’ soon to be ex-wife Elin Nordegren is about to be one rich woman. With a divorce settlement of 100 million dollars, I’m sure her lawyers were helpful in negotiating such a lucrative settlement. But what if you can’t afford first class representation?

Going through a divorce is difficult enough. The last thing you want to do is feel like you’re being taken advantage of. Here are a few tips that any woman can use if she is forced to negotiate her own divorce settlement.

Prioritize

If you’re like most people going through divorce, you feel cheated, deprived, and betrayed. You believe you must insist on a laundry list of concessions.

You’re probably right. You should insist on some things that you really need. To accomplish your key goals, though, you need to think through what you absolutely must have, and what you would be willing to give up to get it.

I recommend that you actually write out a list of your priorities. This is not to share with anyone, except maybe your lawyer or coach. It’s to help you devise a strategy – a way to focus on those goals that are key to you.

Put at the top of the list those concessions – money, time, property, whatever – that you absolutely cannot do without. Work gradually down the list to the items that you’d rather have but could easily give up if it would help you accomplish your more important goals.

Clarify

This is your new life. Don’t depend on the old rules. If you and your spouse agree for you to be responsible for the Visa card, make sure you know when your spouse will stop using it. If you’ve decided for the children to live with the other parent every other weekend, make sure you know when and where they’ll be picked up, and when and where they’ll be at the end of the weekend.

If you’re planning to take them camping, make sure the other parent knows it so they won’t have a suitcase full of dress-up clothes. Spell it out. You’ll be glad you did.

Negotiate within the negotiation

Negotiating in divorce is all about trading one thing for another, what I call mooshing. Sometimes the items being traded look and act alike, such as when you take the J.C. Penney bill and your spouse takes the MasterCard bill. Sometimes, though, they can be quite different, such as when you give up the big-screen TV for a touch more alimony or even for a commitment that the kids will go to temple once a month. As long as you keep your attention on the time value of money and think strategically, there’s no problem with mooshing. It’s sort of what you do in divorce.

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