Being on many pregnancy websites, I’ve seen some of the greatest debates over personal choices like circumcision, scheduling a c-section, piercing a baby girl’s ears, and vaccinations. But never did I think registry etiquette would be one of those debates. At some point in time, some etiquette guru (may have been Emily Post) said that it is inappropriate to notify your guests of where you’re registered at via the invite. Well just like many etiquette rules that have been updated to fit the times, I believe this should be one of them.
By you including where you’re registered at for your wedding or baby shower isn’t rude, it’s proactive. It saves you or your hostess from being bombarded by phone calls or emails asking where are you registered. Also, these are the times where no one seems to have the time to play guessing games as to where you’re registered. Some people believe that your guests will automatically assume that you’re registered and begin to look you up at the major spots to register. However, that’s a lot of wasted time and energy, especially since you can register almost anywhere nowadays, including Amazon.com or MyRegistry.com. These two sites are the best comprehensive registries people are choosing because you don’t have to stick with one particular store. Then you still have Walmart, Target, JCPenney, Babies R Us, Burlington’s Baby Depot, Buy Buy Baby (owned by Bed, Bath & Beyond), and more!
I say do yourself and your guests a favor, split the rule. Don’t include the registry on your invite, just include the registry card inside the envelope with the invite. If you don’t have a registry card, then you can easily make one up. It will then appear more of an afterthought, like, “Oh, by the way, if you wanted to buy us a gift, here is where we’re registered at.” Since after all, that’s what the debate is really about. The poor taste of forcing your guests to feel obligated to buy something. (But isn’t that what a shower is really all about?) Some feel this gives the sense of entitlement.
You wouldn’t believe how upset folks get when no one buys off their registry. Well, if you never told them where to go then how would they know to do so? And, if you did tell them where to go, it’s still their choice if they want to shop at that store. Some people may look at your registry, see an item, know they can get it cheaper elsewhere and purchase it from there; hence it won’t come off your registry. Even those who do buy at the store you have listed have to inform the sales clerk that it came from a registry. If they don’t, once again, it won’t come off of your registry. I’ve also seen people get upset because the “larger big ticket” items were not bought. Times are tough for everyone. Don’t build a registry with those expectations, at least not in today’s economy. I set up my registry as a list of things that I wanted to get, whether I purchased them or someone else. Do remember, most stores give you a discount on items left on your registry. I also recommend skipping the additional registry notes. Some put things like “please include gift receipt” or “nothing pink”.
Again, people are going to buy what they want to buy and people will almost always forget to get a gift receipt. To help you in the return department, YOU should do the research first and find out who has the best return policy or decide upfront that you will donate the duplicated items to someone less fortunate. How you handle things is what makes you seem very ungrateful and unappreciative of what people have done for you. So just lighten up a bit folks when it comes to registries. It’s a party, a celebration of a new family forming or the birth of a new life. You have bigger things to stress over than gifts and offending people over your registry.
T Marlene -- Daily Venus Diva.
I like your style, T! I agree with what you said about it being okay to include a seperate card with your registry info in the invite. I find nothing wrong with that…especially if you are using a universal registry site like MyRegistry.com. Personally, I used that site for my own bridal registry (loved it). But the cool thing about MyRegistry.com is that you can also create eCards on the site to share your registry info with your friends and family. I actually went that route and I thought it was a cute and not too “in your face” touch.
For some reason it’s so funny to me that these ladies get so upset about gifts not coming from the registry. What first-time mom really knows what she wants/need anyway? I think Bridezilla’s gave birth to Preg-zilla and she’s still got the gimmes. Look out! Registry info on the invite is tacky…even if it somehow becomes acceptable.
Thanks Ayana!
And Angie, that’s why I suggested not putting it on the invite itself.
Thanks for the responses ladies!
T