Why Men Won't Commit

By: BBWCupid

First you spend your time obsessing over why he didn’t call you and trying to read every little sign along the way. Then he does call, you go on a few more dates and soon you’re seeing each other. BUT… he still won’t commit to you. Commitment could mean he doesn’t like to use the word “girlfriend” when he refers to you or commitment could mean you are the girlfriend but he doesn’t like to use the word “wife”.

Either way, men are doing this to women everywhere. They just won’t commit and the women can’t figure out why. Women will start by hoping it’ll happen, then go on to dropping hints, graduate to underhanded trickery, blackmail and force, and finally lose all hope and ask the guy outright. Sometimes these methods work and sometimes…well, the guy just runs away. So why won’t these men commit?

The Ex Factor

Does he say things like “My girlfriend and I used to do this” or “My girlfriend likes that”? He obviously can’t get over the break up and the ex is still the girlfriend, while you are just, well…you. He likes you and likes spending time with you and all that but it’s just that he’s still hung up over his ex. You can either wait for him to get over his ex, and realize you’re better than the ex. Maybe then he’ll commit. Or just move on and find someone better.

Bad Experiences

This is a popular one and sometimes its genuine but at others, totally bogus. So he had this girlfriend who cheated on him, and so he thinks all women are promiscuous and therefore no commitment. Or maybe he’s been divorced twice and doesn’t want to marry again. Well…no real solution here. Some times you can change their mind because you’re “different” and they see that and some times you just keep hanging on for nothing.

No Responsibility

Commitment to a serious relationship is a huge responsibility and when its marriage, even more so. Some guys just don’t want the responsibility of being there for another person. It might sound bad but some times you’ve got to appreciate the honesty. A little I guess! He’d rather enjoy his selfish lifestyle then let in someone else just yet.

The Loss Of Freedom

This one’s obvious and most men have this problem. They like you, heck they probably even love you but when it comes to making a commitment, it’s a tough choice. It’s choosing between you and their freedom. Committing to you would mean giving up their freedom to live life the way they please. Factoring someone else in is not just a responsibility but a loss of freedom as well and they’re not sure you are worth losing their freedom over.

The Emotional Baggage

Men don’t like sharing their emotions and feelings and we all know that. For a man, a serious commitment to a girl means signing up for emotional baggage they’re not quite ready for. Even if they’re ready for it, they’re not sure they want it. They enjoy their emotionally uncomplicated lives and letting a woman in means bringing in the drama too.

Feeling Pressured

Are you pressuring your man to commit? Or may be you’ve been together so long, the societal pressure to scream marriage is getting to him. Some guys will buckle under pressure and give in. While others will become doubly stubborn and not commit, just because everyone else wants them to. It’s silly but in a guy’s brain, it’s logic.

You’re Not The One

Harsh but true. Men don’t view longevity of a relationship as a step towards commitment. He can be with you because he likes you and he’s comfortable but you may not be the one he wants to commit to. That’s why you often see a 10-year-old relationship disintegrating because the guy doesn’t want to get married and then 6 months later he’s found his soulmate and they live happily ever after. Believe it or not, guys are waiting for “The One” too.

It’s hard to figure out what’s going on inside a guy’s head and why he just won’t commit to you. It could be one, some, all or none of these reasons. It’s frustrating, heart-breaking and confusing and honestly, there’s no foolproof solution. Hopefully your man will eventually come around to it. If he doesn’t, don’t cry over it and move on to greener pastures. It’ll be hard but at least it won’t be a dead end.

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