Who started the rumor that fat girls don’t date, get kissed, have relationships, get married and the whole shabang? I’d really like to know because that rumor has been going around for as long as I can remember. It has been spread to put the fear in women that they will be forever alone, a crazy cat lady, living in their parents basement unless they fit into a size 6, hell in some parts of the world size 2, and has been a crutch for fatties with no self confidence, toxic personalities or social retardation to lean on as to why they just can’t land a date for the prom, their sisters wedding or hell for any typical Friday night. I would really love to meet the person who started this rumor and kick their, probably fat (i blame this on a crutch leaner) ass for spreading such lies and overall ridiculousness.
I had my first serious boyfriend (remember i wasn’t always the out and proud lezzy i am today) in the 7th grade. We dated for about 4 months (dating = seeing each other a total of 2 times but talking on the phone every night, ah to be 12 and in love!) and immediately after breaking it off I began “dating” his best friend. After that it was another boy and another and another after that until the 6 month stint I had the summer before my senior year where for the first time i didn’t have a steady boyfriend but even then i was going out with someone new and exciting every night and it wasn’t slim pickings either! (Not to mention after that 6 months i began dating the man i would be with for 6 years, marry, and eventually break heart into pieces and divorce.) Now i wasn’t some skinny mini then either, I was the same loud, fat, redhead that I am now, which proves something right there FAT GIRLS DATE and all the other things that go along with it.
Growing up I had alot of friends of all shapes and sizes, one of my best friends was rail thin and ate like a horse, another was a tennis player with a sweet tooth who i’m pretty sure over exercised and threw up after most meals, and then there were two other girls I ran around with who were both at different times smaller then me but still by societies standards overweight, the same size as me, or just a smidgen larger. Now the difference between me and these two girls besides the fact that I had a way with the boys just like my skinny peers and they didn’t was I had something they didn’t and that primarily was confidence, a fun outgoing personality, a flirtatious nature and enough self worth to know that any boy or girl would be lucky to date me!
These two girls we will call the the Self-Loathing Downers blamed every short coming they ever had on their weight. They were both very pretty girls, they were fun when they weren’t in their self-hating mode and honestly probably could have been very likable and datable if they would have just removed their heads from each others body judging asses. These girls would bitch about not snagging the boy they liked and would blame it on their size when in reality they had never even spoken to the boy, had no clue what he thought of them and pushed anything with testosterone away from them with their self depreciating comments and grouchy tendency to starve all day after saying “i’ll just have a salad” in front of their peers at lunch. Man I can’t imagine why they couldn’t get a date, can you? Yeah….I blame these girls actions on society, whoever started that rumor, and in their cases their skinny mothers who couldn’t fathom why their daughters who took after their big boned husband couldn’t manage to be the skinny cheerleaders they were in high school. It really is a vicious cycle you know. Unfortunately these girls still haven’t learned anything, they yo-yo diet with the best of them, have bad self images still and still cry into a pint of rocky road about how fat they are every time they get dumped. Did you know that only fat girls get dumped? I didn’t but apparently they do. (Can you feel the sarcasm?)
I was talking to a coworker about this subject as well as quite a few other things about body acceptance and how your outlook on life cant be fixed by losing 20lbs and she told me about how she never dated in high school either, in fact didn’t really date at all until she met her now husband who she admits she didn’t think she was good enough for when they first met. Wasn’t good enough, only because of her weight. She admitted to me that she didn’t have any confidence growing up and took herself out of the game before even getting up to bat when it came to guys. She was fine with being the friend but anything past that was unheard of her mind due to how she felt about her appearance. Lucky enough for her current husband wouldn’t take bad self esteem for answer and now she sees the error of her ways and has to true key to happiness…say it with me CONFIDENCE!
Now, maybe you under the impression still that fat girls don’t date and I’m just the exception to the rule. Well wrong wrong wrong again. An example would be my good friend in high school who we called Jew-Unit (yep Jewish teens of the 90’s rejoice). Jew-Unit was alot like myself. A big girl but very in touch with everything that made her absolutely fabulous! She was confident, smart, funny, very outgoing and a pro at dating, Hell she had multiple offers a lot of the time and had some great relationships, some not so great ones, a date for every dance, and few broken hearts JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD! More proof that fat girls date.
OK so i’ve talked about high school fat dating but what about as an adult? Some people think that the lucky fat girls get married and live happily after and the rest are single and doomed. Not true. I got more play as a married lady then i did in high school (I should be ashamed but i’m not…don’t judge me) and i have plenty of BBW unmarried friends who get more dates then anyone else i know. Imagine that, and its actually the same things coming into play in, confidence, optimism, being true to yourself and being outgoing.
I guess bottom line is you can’t take yourself out of the game because of your weight. Fat girls date, fat girls get dumped, skinny girls date, skinny girls get dumped. People can be mean to both fat girls and skinny girls. Fat girls get married, skinny girls get married. It’s time to put the rumor that fat girls don’t date to rest and along with that to not allow that fucked up rumor to be a crutch when things don’t go our way either. Put your best fat foot forward, be your fabulous self and get out there and take a chance, there is someone out there for everyone and no matter what your size if you let you shine your bound to find love.
Daily Venus Diva -- Daily Venus Diva.
Yeah we do date big time.we kick ass!What can keep us big girls from dating?nothing!We have what guys can hold on to,even tsunami cannot take them away from our cushioned loving arms!We are simply phatabulous BIG GIRLS do not be discouraged by the “BONES BRIGADE GIRLS”Fat girls rocks!Ask those guys who date them or simply ask my guy!Whoever thinks or believes PHAT GIRLS do not date must be nuts!We kick ass!We are SIMPLY P.retty.H.ot.And.Thick ( P.H.A.T )Who will want a lean thin steak while there is a juicy,thick,fatty steak?Noone believe me.Big girls just know that we are PHATABULOUS!
This article is very true, we are all human whether skinny or fat and we all can obtain the same attractive attributes. So just because you are fat doesn’t mean that you can’t date, get married and live the ever after life like any skinny girl can. Its all in the mind, you have to have the confidence and the self worth to believe that you are a great catch and worth someone’s time. You can’t just sit on the sidelines and blame your physical appearance as the reason for you not having a personal life. I myself didn’t date in high school, got a couple offers in college, and have been a hot item ever since. Confidence is key and thats something I had to learn along the way. In order to date, you have to be dateable. And you can’t be dateable if you self loathe, wallow in your weight, have a nasty attitude and are bitter with life, or wear a chip on your shoulder for a self created problem. Learn to appreciate your curves, rolls, double chin, and make it work for you!