You’re divorced. You share custody. And you and your ex both want to share the trick-or-treat experience with your kids. So what should you do for a minor holiday in order for everyone to have a good time, despite the fact that you’re no longer living in the same house together as a family? Divorce360 asked its experts to help.
TIPS FOR EX-SPOUSES ON HALLOWEEN from Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D., and author and Jann Blackstone Ford, Ph.D., author
1. Keep children informed. Let the child know ahead of time what will happen.
2. Don’t put the kids in the middle. Don’t ask, ‘Do you want to spend Halloween at my house of your mom’s (or dad’s)?’ explains Jann Blackstone Ford. “That approach tests your child’s allegiance. Better to ask, ‘Where would you like to spend Halloween?”‘
3. Share your children. “If possible, see if you can share the time during a holiday so that all participate. Perhaps each parent can take half of the time. Or, for Halloween, for example, perhaps one parent can get the costumes and dress the child and the other parent can go with them for the trick and treating.”
4. Treat the other parent well. It is “very helpful for children to see that their parents are treating one another respectfully during holiday times (as always). Don’t use this occasion to reminisce about the pass or say negative things about your ex.”
5. Make your own plans. If you’re a parent who is alone during a holiday, don’t make a big deal about it or create upset about it in the child. Find a friend to share the time with. Or, use the time to volunteer and be with others. “You don’t want to child to feel that they’re enjoying the holiday while the other parent is sad or alone,” This may create guilt in them and prevent them from having a good time.”
Daily Venus Diva -- Daily Venus Diva.
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