Your relationship has ended, now what? You probably think your world has been turned upside down and any sense of happiness has gone out of the window. It may sting like heck but breaking up with your boyfriend or divorcing your spouse is not the end of the world. Marci G. Fox, PhD and Leslie Sokol, PhD, are here to help withTHINK CONFIDENT, BE CONFIDENT: A Four-Step Program to Eliminate Doubt and Achieve Lifelong Self-Esteem. Here are their very helpful tips to getting back on the saddle after a break-up.
1. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. You won’t love someone in exactly the same way again but you can love them just as much but differently.
2. Your memories can never be eradicated. Use them as a tool to learn from. Your ex showed you what you don’t want in a relationship. Now get out there and find out what you do want in a relationship. Don’t get hung up on what you lost. Play back the whole tape and focus on the unappealing moments.
3. Regardless of what led to the break up, remind yourself of what you have to offer somebody and don’t discount your value. Remind yourself that somebody would be lucky to have you in their life. If you like hanging out with you, then assume others will too.
4. Remember it would be nice to be in a relationship, but you don’t have to be in one. It is possible to participate in all the things that you enjoy and give you a sense of accomplishment even if there is no significant other to share it with.
5. If you want to make a relationship happen then maximize your opportunities. Say yes to the blind dates, let your friends and colleagues know you’re single, put your profile out there, and say yes to every opportunity.